| Supporting
Clients in Transition
Over the weekend I was sitting on my doorstep
editing, taking in the first Spring like day
-- the warm air, the fresh breeze, and the bright blue
sky. As I took in the scene, I noticed my wisteria tree
is just about to burst into bloom. The buds are growing
longer and expanding. Each day more lavender petals
are peeking through. Just a few more warm days and the
entire tree will be a cascade of fragrant, lavender
flowers buzzing with bees.
As I toyed with using this image as starting
point for this newsletter I felt myself hesitate.
It felt unfair of me to be talking about the beauty
and wonder of spring when so many of my readers are
still in the depths of the chilly storms of winter.
(Of course it occurs to me now that other readers from
Down Under are contending with the opposite end of the
spectrum -- the heat of Summer.)
And then I realized that this dilemma is one
that frequently faces clients; they are in one season
while those they love and care about are in a different
season.
Of all the cusps between seasons, the juxtaposition
between Spring and Winter is the most striking.
Because most everyone strives to be in Spring, the happy,
active, excited energy of Spring can spark a number
of emotions for those struggling in the depths of Winter.
In the rest of this newsletter I'll show you
how this juxtaposition can show up in your work with
clients and share some suggestions on how to
focus your support in such situations.
(If you are not yet familiar with The Seasons of Change
model, get a quick overview here: http://www.seasonsofchange.com/seasons.html
)
Your client is reaching toward a new life or embracing
a new part of herself. She's excited about
her progress and yet at the same time she's battling
a sense of guilt and dread because she's stepping ahead
of others in her life. Those who supposedly love her
most may be jealous and envious of her progress. It's
likely their actions (presumed or actual) make your
client question her right to move forward and her ability
to move fully into Spring.
Your best move is to support your client in
staying focused on her goal and to encourage
her to broaden her network so she can be in contact
with people who support her in who she is now!
When the roles are reversed your client watches
someone he loves move into Spring while he struggles
to find his way through Winter. The comparisons
he makes are likely to have him asking, "Why not
me?" "Will I ever get out of Winter?"
and "What do I need to do to move on?"
If your client's loved one moved through their
transition consciously, you can support your
client by helping him see his loved one as an inspiration,
proof that Spring is possible. Have your client remember
how far the person has come -
what was their Winter like? What did they do to move
forward?
If the loved one never spent any time in Winter
your client is likely to feel very frustrated
that the person is moving into a new life without ever
struggling with Winter. Although it may take some time
for all the chips to fall, your client's loved one is
likely to discover their movement forward was a false
Spring rather than a true one.
Although it's sometimes difficult to predict
the ultimate outcome, remind your client that
a true Spring can only come after he gains new insights
and can envision a new life.
When your client's Winter and Spring transitions
are unrelated, she can most likely move into
Spring while handling the Wintering activities of another
transition.
When your client's two transitions are related
and progress in one depends on progress in the other,
it's likely your client will not be able to move forward
in Spring until she at least has a Winter Solstice insight
to help her put her future in
focus.
You can provide the best support by helping
your client sort out her priorities.
As objective and clear as you try to be, your
season can also interact with your clients' state of
mind. Paying attention and staying focused
on your clients is most important. At the same time
as two humans working together there will be times
when your true energy impacts your clients--one way
or the other.
Do what you can to step above your own inner
Winter space to celebrate your clients' Spring progress.
Help them balance their fear and excitement and see
proactive ways to keep moving forward. Watch that your
Wintering actions don't
hold your client back in any way.
Remember not to rush your clients forward.
Your Spring energy may be an inspiration for your clients
and/or your energy may trigger their despair/discomfort
with still being in Winter. If appropriate, you may
be able to share a bit of your journey to illustrate
you've made your way through Winter consciously. Modeling
this may be quite inspiring for your clients.
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