| Supporting
Clients in Transition
Most clients work with a coach to bring something
new into their lives--a new vision, a new level
of success, or a new set of actions. At some point in
the process, however, many of them come up against a
wall of feelings that make them back down or back away.
- For one it may be just thinking about a new life
makes them feel so uncomfortable they have a difficult
time engaging in the coaching process.
- For another, creating the plan is doable enough,
but it's taking their first actual steps that make
them skittish.
- For others, taking new actions and working toward
new dreams is fun and exciting. They like the challenge
of heading into new territory.
For all of your clients (and prospective clients),
the desire to create something new is there.
What differs is their comfort level with stepping into
a new world. As it turns out that new world is full
of unknowns--Will they succeed? Will they fail? Do they
know enough? How will it impact the parts of their life
they enjoy? How will it impact their personality? Their
self-image? The delicate life balance they've created
for themselves?
As I mentioned, for some just imagining this
new level of living opens up Pandora's box.
For others, the feelings of discomfort don't show up
until they are taking action.
All new beginnings evoke a myriad of sometimes
conflicting emotions.
- There's fear and excitement.
- There's nervousness and courage.
- There's hesitancy and anticipation.
If your clients have been living year after
year with their status quo life, they may not be accustomed
to taking new actions. They may not know what
to make of the mix of emotions they feel. Without support,
they may decide it's not worth the anxiety to pursue
new levels of success. In fact, they may have been running
into this same wall each and every time they've tried
to change their life in the past.
How can you incorporate this one concept into
your conversations with prospective clients
or clients who have participated in one of your free
sample sessions? How might this change your sign up
rate?
As you coach clients embarking on new beginnings,
keep the following factors in mind:
- Starting something new is as much about stepping
into the unknown as letting go of something old and
familiar.
- Clients beginning something new may at the same
time be letting go of something else in their lives.
They may need coaching on both issues to move forward.
- Clients who have been at the top of their game
may hold themselves to a very high standard that doesn't
allow them room to learn. Under this standard they
must be high achievers before they even leave the
gate. A high standard of excellence is appropriate
when one is accustomed to and qualified to handle
the corresponding tasks and responsibilities. This
same standard is oppressive, however, when one is
trying something for the first time.
A great analogy: When seniors enter
a new arena they must become freshman again. The key
difference between the old school days and this transition,
is now your client has a greater sense of self and some
general knowledge from which
to draw. As a result the learning curve is not likely
to be as long nor as steep as their days of being a
freshman in school.
- Help your clients acknowledge both the new
beginnings and the endings associated with their change
in direction. Support them in honoring their
feelings of loss. A sense of completion will free
them up to focus on the new.
- Support your clients in revising their
standard of success so that it fits the realities
of their circumstances. If they are trying
something for the first time, they need to find a
way to give themselves some slack...they need to give
themselves permission to be a learner again.
- Help your client turn mistakes into key
learnings. Everyone makes mistakes starting
out. The key is to isolate the circumstances that
led to the mistake and learn from them. Then, the
next time around different approaches will be top
of mind.
- If the opportunity arises, talk about the
fears their new direction brings up. Do they
sense a fear of failure? Fear of success? Fear of
not being perfect? Fear that they are an imposter?
Is this a recurring feeling? If so, delve into it
or refer the client to a therapist who can help them
resolve and reframe these fears.
- Give your clients some field work. Invite
them to try something completely new...visiting
a neighboring town, going to an art museum, taking
a walk in a unfamiliar (safe) neighborhood. What they
choose to do is not as important as the experience
they have as they explore the unknown. Coach them
to see how their experience helps them understand
their response to the new actions they are taking.
I hope the information in this newsletter provides
you with new insights and ideas you can use with your
clients and prospective clients. Please email me with
comments and questions about supporting clients as they
venture into new areas of their life. I look forward
to hearing from you.
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