| Supporting
Clients in Transition
Many people who face a major change in their
life resist. They fight the process, they struggle
against the impending transition, they procrastinate
doing what they think must be done. This is especially
true when the transition they face (a job loss, a relocation,
a death, an illness, a divorce) is of a larger magnitude
than anything else they've experienced before. In truth,
they really don't know what to do.
Our culture spends time teaching us many things:
Practical life skills, academic skills, social skills,
athletic skills. But have you ever seen a class that
teaches transition skills? A personal growth workshop
perhaps, but any others?
Although it is common knowledge that change
is one of the few constants in life, most structures
in our society teach us to resist change rather than
embrace it. Change is not going to go away. In fact
numerous sources and our own experiences tell us the
rate and magnitude of change has increased dramatically
over the last several decades...and it shows no signs
of slowing down.
To survive and flourish in our world, we must
all learn to change--gracefully, effectively,
and in way that, in the end, improves our lives.
As a coach or counselor
you are in a wonderful position to show people how to
work with changes (desired or undesired,
anticipated or unexpected) to enhance themselves and
their lives.
I firmly believe that helping clients see change as
a natural part of life transforms how they
approach change and how they find their way to the other
side of their transition.
I have spent much of the last 18 years focusing
on the topic of transition, first personally
and then professionally. My book, The Seasons of Change,
provides an overview of a natural approach to change.
In response to my father's death in 1986, I looked to
nature to understand what was happening in my world.
As I observed nature I noticed how various animals and
plants responded to the continual change of seasons.
Their methods gave me clues about how to thrive during
times of change.
When I started my business, Transition Dynamics,
in 1991 I began sharing these metaphors with people
in transition. The natural, gentle, and visual
nature of my suggestions were memorable and positively
impacted their journeys. Over the years, I've shared
this model with many clients, readers, and audiences.
In future issues of this newsletter I'll share various
aspects of The Seasons of Change with you as well as
other issues related to working with clients in transition.
As you work with your clients, introduce the following
ideas to help them make their transition with more ease.
Support your client in seeing that change is
a natural process. In fact, it is as natural
as life itself.
Babies are born, seasons change, kids grow, animals
migrate, weather changes, love comes and goes, flowers
bloom and fade, beliefs change, leaves change color,
we take a different path, rivers change course...and
the list goes on and on.
Most people expect change to happen quickly. They
believe they can flip a switch and they will be all
better and their life will be good again. Life can be
good again, but the journey is more of a process than
a single event. Help your client transform from a "flip
the switch" mentality to a process approach. Your
client will feel more successful as they take note of
the progress they make each step of the way.
Give your client a map so they know where they
are and where they are going. Change is by
its very nature full of unknowns. Having a map--a sense
of the process--helps clients trust they are on target.
Share what you know of the process or share The Seasons
of Change which provides an instant map. Once clients
know what season they are in they get a sense of what's
next.
Help your client honor their not knowing. It
is in the space of not knowing that sparks of insight
become visible. Holding on to stories and explanations
that explain the past keeps them in the past. Support
your clients in acknowledging they don't know the answer
at this moment. By surrendering their hold on knowing
they open the door to insight and discovery.
Many clients want to see their entire future clearly
before they make their first move. In actuality,
they can't see their future clearly from their current
vantage point. They need your support to help them begin
the journey. As they round each corner more of their
future will become evident. Help them shift from needing
to take the "right" step to seeing their transition
as an adventure. The ups and downs, twists and turns
of their journey are precisely what brings them alive
and allows them to become aligned with their true nature.
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