| Seasons of
Change
This newsletter marks the beginning of Fall and
the sixth anniversary of the inaugural issue of The Seasons
of Change eNewsletter!
I started writing the newsletter just a few months after
my book, The Seasons of Change: Growing Through Life's Inevitable
Ups and Downs, came out.
Now another new era is dawning. As you've
seen, I've begun to train professionals to use The Seasons
of Change with their clients in transition. In the process
of preparing my new materials, I've been flooded with new
insights, new ways to illustrate the ideas within the model,
and new product ideas. Later in this email I'll invite you
to participate in some of these new developments.
Since it's been a long time since I wrote about The Seasons
of Change model as a whole, I thought this would be a good
time to take a step back and give newer subscribers a look
at the big picture. If you are already familiar with the model,
I'm sure you'll find something in this newsletter you weren't
aware of before.
Your journey on The Seasons of Change begins when
you realize a change is happening in your life. The
change may be a subtle shift within you that tells you it's
time to make a change, or it can be an abrupt jolt as external
circumstances impact your life.
Regardless of whether the change is anticipated, desired,
unexpected, or dreaded, the change sets you on your first
steps on The Seasons of Change journey. As you continue, you'll
walk through each of these phases:
Fall--As you enter Fall, your main tasks
are coming to terms with the fact that the change is happening
and to prepare for what's to come. Your preparations are likely
to include searching for information, finding support, creating
a safe place, and looking at your options.
Early Winter--As you enter Early Winter,
your main goal is to make sense of the change and its impact
on your life. This is often a time of confusion because everything
is in flux and you can't be sure how it will all turn out.
Your first step is to clear your mind and begin reflecting
on what you want and need in the face of this change. To the
degree it's possible, avoid the temptation to lurch into action
to fill the void. You will make clearer, more long standing
decisions if you can wait until you have a full perspective
of your situation.
Winter Solstice--It's often at the darkest
point in the process that you have the insight you need to
see your situation from a new perspective. Your new insights
open the door to new ideas, solutions, and directions. Unfortunately,
these insights can't be forced or demanded--they arrive when
you are open and receptive to seeing a new picture. The longer
you hold onto the 'old story' about your transition,
the longer it takes you to see the light of the future Spring.
Late Winter--With new insights flowing,
your main task is to follow up on your hunches, ideas, and
intuition. In most cases, your first insights are clues to
a bigger picture. As your insights begin to point to a new
direction, start putting a plan together for your future.
Clear out anything in your life--outdated responsibilities,
friendships, and stuff--that won't be relevant to your new
future. Even if you've been holding on to things up until
now, you'll know you've arrived in Late Winter when you are
not only ready to clear out the old, but anxious to get it
done.
Spring--Your main task in Spring is to
take the actions required to implement your plans. The time
has come to step into new roles, new situations, and new responsibilities.
Expect to feel some anxiety--that's only natural when your
newly arrived self steps back into the world at large. Be
gentle. Allow yourself to trust your own sense of timing and
pacing. Just like a toddler learning to walk, you will
wobble a bit. You may even fall down. Just pick yourself up,
take a moment to steady yourself, and keep moving toward your
goals.
Summer--By the time you reach Summer you
are feeling a new sense of confidence and clarity. You've
come a long way and deserve to celebrate all you've accomplished.
Allow your success to sink in. Savor every moment!
Returning to Fall--At some point it's likely
another shift will occur in your life. Your values may change;
your life situation may change. When this happens you'll step
into Fall once again. This time, however, you'll have a more
conscious sense of the transition journey and how to support
yourself through each season.
No matter where you are on the journey, there are
actions you can take to make your journey less rocky.
- Fall----Consciously Acknowledge the Change is
Happening: As soon as you sense something is changing,
pay attention. Don't step into the tempting stance of denying
anything's happening. Denial at this point in your journey
virtually guarantees your path will be longer and harder
than it needed to be. The sooner you acknowledge the shift,
the easier it will be to adjust to the change.
- Early Winter----Learn to Reflect: Although
everyone around you may be encouraging you to 'get back
on the horse' that threw you, taking action when you don't
know what you want can be costly. Instead, take some time
to reflect on who you are, what you want, and what you need.
Don't try to solve the current problem. Instead take a bigger
view. With a bit of insight and ingenuity, you'll be able
to find a way to get beyond this period of your life.
- Winter Solstice----Acknowledge You Don't Know
the Answer: I know every fiber of your body and
soul wants 'The Answer' to your dilemma. Unfortunately,
the harder you push yourself to figure it out, the harder
it will be to find a workable solution. By surrendering,
temporarily, to not knowing, you
become open and receptive to insights. Those very insights
are your ticket to a new future.
- Winter Solstice----Ask Yourself New Questions:
The most predictable way to get a new sense of your future
is to ask yourself new questions. Often when we are troubled
by something, we ask ourselves the same questions over and
over again. The problem with this kind of obsessive thinking
is that it always leads to the answers you already know
are unworkable. Your best strategy is to look to outside
sources--books, talk shows, a coach, the internet--to spark
new questions.
- Late Winter----Create a Plan: Rather
than leaping into action with your first new idea, think
of each idea as a clue. Follow the clue to see what comes
next. Overtime the clues will begin to come together to
show you a pattern or a
new direction. Once you have a clear idea about where you
want to go, create a plan. Whether you write it down or
develop it in your mind, knowing what you want allows you
to decide which action will take you closest to your goal.
- Spring----Trust Your Own Sense of Timing:
Although you are anxious to get on with your life, don't
act before you feel ready. Jumping into action because you
are feeling pressured from people who love you or because
you think you
should is counterproductive. When you are ready to move
forward, you will feel it. You'll feel more energized and
focused than you have in a long time. If you hesitate even
when you have a clear plan, examine why you are hesitating.
Find creative ways to refine your vision so you feel more
comfortable taking action.
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